I need to preface this review by telling you that I am a HUGE fan of dance. I love shows like So You Think You Can Dance for exposing and promoting so many genres of dance and I can watch item songs for hours admiring the dancing, so ask me how excited I was to put on a movie called Naach? I had high hopes, the kind that Chance Pe Dance didn't quite fulfill, and I loved Rangeela, despite it's nightmare inducing speedo scene. However, that being said, I was familiar with the type of work he's done currently, yet that didn't seem to stop me from treading into the murky disconnected "realistic" world that is Ram Gopal Varma.

There is a basic, very basic, story involved. Aspiring actor meets aspiring choreographer, she teaches him how to dance, they fall in love, he makes it big and leaves her in the dust. Will she find her own path? Will the two lovers reunite and make mediocre music videos again? Will you even care? If you are brave enough to venture into this territory, you just might find out.

One thing I have to give Varma credit for, he doesn't pollute the finished product with a lot of plot twists or dialogue. There were so many points in this film where I wondered if perhaps the writers had gone on strike and all we were left with was more tantric twisting from Antara Mali and brooding stares from Abhishek. In fact, there was so much stretching in this film I thought we were getting ready to run a marathon. Don't get me wrong, Antara has got one hell of a killer body, but watching someone do this

or this

or this

or this

or this

all in slow motion is just not my idea of fascinating dance! Shall I go on? Well, let's just say it gets old FAST! We get it, Antara. You are a contortionist. And completely full of yourself. Next time I want to take a hot yoga class I'll call you. Then you won't have to actually pretend to "act" in any more movies. Okay!? Have we got a deal? Good!

I have to say that the girl does have a few good thoughts in the film. This is my favorite:

However, it didn't save us from this nightmare worthy move.

MY EYES!!!!!

There's a lot of debate that floats in the blogging community over Abhishek's ability to actually emote as he acts. I've always been on the side that usually enjoys his films. That being said, he is completely lazy in this movie, relying solely on those sullen looks I mentioned earlier and deadpan delivery. I'm guessing he gets excited over his big break, but mostly I think he's just bored with it all.

Did you feel that? The shiver that went down your spine? Somebody's watching you.

That being said, Abhishek gives me my favorite line of the movie:

Nice try Ram Gopal Varma! Trying to influence our perception of this load of self-indulgent tripe through subliminal messaging will not work on me!

If you can wade through all the drivel, there is one thing that redeems this movie, if only slightly, in my eyes and that is the wonderful performance of Ritesh Deshmukh, who plays film director Diwakar. A different role for me, as I'm used to him being the underdog buddy or love interest, but he was extremely convincing from the word go. In fact, the chemistry between Ritish and Antara was much more credible than with Abhishek. He looked like a love sick puppy and I just wanted to hug him and tell him to go find a girl worthy of his affection.

There, there Ritesh. There's more to life than a girlfriend who's flexible!

Not only did I not get the dancing (which was far too abstract for me), but the music did nothing for me either. I get that Varma likes to experiment within his filmmaking, but it's just too out there for me I guess. Plus I never realized that music videos were that big in India? Is there a whole platform I'm unaware of? Someone please educate me!!

And a final word from the master of meh...

Don't be too sure RGV. Not all your audience are mindless drones.

8 Response to "Naach"

  1. Jules says:
    November 9, 2010 at 6:48 PM

    OMG!! LMAO!! I was literally rolling on the floor laughing at this post, Didi. The first screen shot capture you posted looks like she's about to masturbate. LMAO!! Hahahahaha!! And that one of Abishek leaning backwards... OMG! LOL! Seriously... loved watching it with you so we could laugh our way through the severity of it all!

  2. Shell says:
    November 10, 2010 at 1:01 PM

    It was just as brutal rewatching for screencaps. And you are totally right, out of context that shots looks, um, suspicious!

    I'm glad you enjoyed the post! he he!

  3. MinaiMinai says:
    November 11, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    Very funny review Shell, I was very excited to read it because I found this film mindnumbingly annoying as well, and not too many people seem to have seen it! Lol @ "tantric twisting from Antara Mali." I'm pretty sure this film was RGV's self-indulgent exercise in getting the license to stare and drool at Antara's Body endlessly in slow motion... from behind the camera. :)

    That first Abhishek screencap is awesome!! Does his fly look open, or am I focusing on the wrong part of the picture? ;)

    But agreed- for a film titled dance, it is sure a letdown!

  4. Shell says:
    November 11, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Namaste MinaiMinai! I think it was our shared enthusiasm for dance that led us astray to watching this! Shortly after I posted this someone said to me they thought it was RGV's attempt at making porn with clothes on. I agree with that, and your statement about drooling over Antara's body 100%

    About that Abhi pic - look up dear girl!! I'm pretty sure his fly is up, it's just fabric you're seeing (but I applaud your wondering eyes!)

    I'm so glad, thought, that RGV gave us this film - it's entirely a benchmark on what NOT to do in a dance film!

    Thanks for stopping by!!!

  5. Shweta Mehrotra Gahlawat says:
    November 11, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Fabulous and utterly hilarious & apt review! It did seem like everyone was asleep while making this movie, and maybe even RGV, since he let this product out of the stable.

  6. Shell says:
    November 12, 2010 at 6:44 AM

    Thanks Shweta! Yes, everyone was asleep, including me!

  7. Hans Meier says:
    June 12, 2011 at 3:41 AM

    I enjoyed this review too, funny text-pic-package, *even though* you got it all wrong. Yes, i liked Naach (duck and cover).

    Not sure if your question re the importance of music videos in India is toungue-in-cheek, so will not make a fool myself by trying to answer that.

  8. Shell says:
    June 21, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    Namaste Hans and welcome. I suppose some movies are not for everyone. I'm not sure what it was I missed, though, if I did it was surely because I was so bored of this film.

    I honestly am not aware of music vids in India, so that question was earnest. I'd like to know what people watch and listen to outside of the film songs.

    thanks for stopping by!